I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I feel great
I just peed on a car
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
