Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
