Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
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