Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
