Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
