it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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