party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
