am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
