I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
