the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
