I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
