Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
