he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
