24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he was CRYING into my vagina
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
