dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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