I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
