i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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