i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
