so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
