I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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