what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
