You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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