I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
