I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
