dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
