i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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