when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
