ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
