Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
