She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
if only i could text you this smell
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
