what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
