Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
