sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
