none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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