Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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