another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
