maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
How does it feel to date your dad?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
