i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You ate ashes out of my bong
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
