Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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