I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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