did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize