Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
