I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
