Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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