What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
