Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
