i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
