Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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