Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
