umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
